Oh Great, Not Again!

Thanksgiving ’07.There wasn’t a big turn out this year. I wonder why? Probably because of my dumb brother-in-law. My brother and his wife moved across the country to get away from that guy. I don’t blame them one bit. After last year we decided to use paper plates and cutlery whenever possible, less my brother-in-law break an antique like last year. Every year we try to learn from our mistakes, but every year he pulls something different.

This year was no exception. Everyone was looking forward to a nice, relaxing Thanksgiving this year because my brother-in-law was going to be working at his new job transporting books from Milwaukee to Wichita. How he even got that job, I don’t even know. Right when we were about to start the cooking, that dummy walks in and says “holla” pronouncing the "h"(his version of “hi”). Then before any of us could recover from the shock of seeing him here, he jumps up and swats the ceiling fan pull-chain. It swings up and breaks one of the light bulbs and the cockatoo caged in the corner screeches. Everyone just stood there in shocked silence. That was only the beginning, though it was nothing compared to the weirdness that he started talking about.

He had recently heard of a new Thanksgiving meal called turducken. I vaguely remember hearing about this dish, a turkey stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken. He insisted on calling it “turdunkin’.” Dushan corrected him and he just stared off into space with a blank look for a while, then continued on as if no one said anything. I would have thought he was faking it, but you never know with my brother-in-law. Then, halfway through the evening, he started saying “turdunkin’ doughnuts.” Everyone was annoyed, but he wouldn’t stop. During the dinner, people started getting up to go eat outside. He never came out; that was nice! When we went back in he was gone…and so was his plate of food. He must have just taken the whole thing with him, because the dish was not there either. What a weirdo. We’ll probably never get that plate back. A nice dish set ruined all because of my dumb brother-in-law.